gaysharks | but you force yourself to choose.

but you force yourself to choose.

[it was a pretty normal day for sousuke. well, as normal as it could get in a hellhole like haven. anyway- it was the pretty standard bump and grind for him. wake up, go out and scavenge for food, and survive. some of that was hard to do with the difficult curve balls haven would throw out at them all, but, you had to adapt to them in order to survive. and that's what sousuke was good at. adapting. especially since his arm wasn't that much of an issue with him anymore.

he woke up today as he normally would have any other day. as slowly as possible. the annoying alarm clock would beep at him annoyingly in an attempt to wake him up for the new day. nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he rolled out of bed. or, at least that's what he thought. he got out of bed, stood up, and stretched slowly.

as he did this he notices that the top bunk is actually occupied by someone (you bet your ass he took the bottom bunk after rin left.) else. and upon further notice he realizes that the person has the exact same hair color as his best friend....

hm....]

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[ rin sleeps fitfully. it's not an uncommon occurrence; despite his rigorous training schedule, he's often had difficulty sleeping.

still, there's a strangeness that he can't shake off, even after he's cracked his eyes open. the ceiling is too close. the air smells like iron and damp wood, like something rotting. it's familiar and unfamiliar at the same time, and then --

--haven.

the fight. the memory loss. haru, dying. sousuke, holding his shoulder, teeth gritted.

everything comes back to him in a rush. rin shoots up, his forehead narrowly missing the ceiling. no.

not again.

but it's when he looks down at catches the pale gaze directed up at him; that's why the blood rushes from rin's face.

sousuke looks wan and thin and tired. like rin had, once, before he'd been pulled away from this place. he looks like everything that rin had never wanted him to be, and yet -- yet, he'd been a part of the problem.

korra's voice is strong and soft at the back of his mind, but his mind is too much of a jumble. he can't pick out the threads of reason amongst the tangle of anger and fear and guilt. ]

Hey.

[ it's a murmur, barely over a whisper. ]

[sousuke kind of had an inkling as to what rin might have felt when he knew his best friend was in haven. but, actually getting to experience this all himself? it's... it's completely different as to what his little inkling was. it almost feels as if the air had been kicked out of him.

a protective urge rises from the pits of his stomach and lodges itself into his throat. he kind of stares at rin like he's seen a ghost. but in a way, it sort of almost is like he is seeing a ghost. it's been... what? two months since he last saw rin? and the last time he actually saw him for more than two seconds was after they got into their fight.

of course he doesn't blame rin for what happened. he knew better than to do something stupid like that. besides, he knows that his best friend wouldn't ever hurt him like that. nor would he go for his injury the way rin did while he was under the influence. anyway- he shakes his head, and clears his throat.] Hey yourself.

[a pause. he's not... really sure how he should bring this up though. hm.] What all... do you remember?

[ rin levers himself down from the bunk, avoiding the question for the time it takes to set his feet back on the ground. the room feels stifling. smaller than it had been the last time he was here.

he looks up, teeth gritted, his fists rounding at his sides. facing up to his mistakes has been a common theme in his interactions with his friends over the last few years, but it never gets any easier. especially when he'd hurt sousuke. not only hurt him, but targeted an injury that tore sousuke away from his dream.

rin looks down, away, anywhere but at sousuke. ]

If you're asking if I remember beating the shit out of you -- [ he takes a deep breath, brows furrowed. ] -- yeah. Yeah, I remember that.

[ and rin's gaze flicks up to sousuke's shoulder before resettling at his feet. ]

Rin...

[he grows silent for a moment as he shakes his head.] Rin, please look at me. [he's not sure what feels worse. the fact that rin blames himself for that, or the fact that he's not even taking the chance to look at him.] I know you didn't mean to do that on purpose. I know the last thing on your mind would have been to actually want to hurt me on your own.

Edited 2014-12-30 02:49 (UTC)

[ rin obeys, only because he doesn't like the note of unrest in sousuke's voice. it's a little too similar to the tone he'd used after rin had left him on the ground, pleading even as the pain leeched his consciousness away. ]

That's not it. Yeah. I wasn't myself. But --

[ he has to struggle not to turn around and leave right then and there, only the remembrance of korra's encouragement anchoring him in place. ]

If it happened again, would you be able to stop me? [ the words come out in a rush, rin tense as a coiled spring. ]

Of course I would. You know I would. It hurts me to see you being forced to do stuff like that. I know that wasn't you. I know you wouldn't willingly want to hurt me. And I would do everything I could to stop that from happening to you again.

[he looks over at his shoulder. thanks to korra it hasn't been hurting him as much as it did when he got here.] My shoulder isn't much of an issue any more. I only wear my brace now when I'm helping haul heavy things.

[ the resulting silence roars in rin's ears. that's more than sousuke usually says. he means it; rin doesn't have to be able to read his best friend as well as he does to be certain of that. ]

Even if you have to hurt me to incapacitate me?

[ there's steel in his voice now, but his gaze is pleading. ]

I would find a way to work around that. You don't have to kill someone in order to stop them. [he's learned a lot while you were gone bru.]

[ hm.

it's like rin's strings are cut. the tension leaves him; he sags against the wall, not quite knowing how to feel. ]

Alright. Fine.

[ and then finally there's something of the usual rin returning, the determination in his gaze, the hard line of his jaw. ]

I'm sorry, Sousuke.

[tension lifts from his shoulders as well as he looks over at rin. he knows the other is probably satisfied with his answer. as he should be. though if you do do something like that again you're gonna get tied up til it finishes.

he shakes his head and waves a hand and with that he wanders a little closer to his friend.] I know. I'm sorry you had to shoulder all of that. I wanted you to have your time, but I guess I waited too long before approaching you. So, I'm sorry too.

[ rin snorts under his breath, looking annoyed. ]

Shut up. You don't get to apologize for the crap I pulled.

[ rin nudges at sousuke's thigh with his knee, possibly taking more comfort from the familiarity of the action than he was offering sousuke. ]

[he crosses his arms.] And what if I want to?

[ the irritation is mostly feigned now, rin continuing to nudge at sousuke with his knee. ]

Nah. Not allowed.

[sousuke will let him do it because he ain't even bothered.] Well I'm going to do it, too bad.

[ is he going to be bothered by it if rin nudges at his ass instead, that's the question. ]

What happened to listening to your captain, huh?

Who said I actually listened to you? [he smirks down at him. also.... he.... probably won't.]

[ okay rin's giving up because sousuke's tall as fuck and there's only so much his thigh muscles can take. to-be pro athlete or not. ]

You sound way too proud of that.

[ okay, maybe one last nudge. and then rin looks up at sousuke, his levity fading. ]

You been okay, though? Without me to keep you in line, I mean.

Yeah, sorry the cat's out of the bag. I've tuned you out all season. [too busy staring at that butt, ok.] I've been okay. Things happened and you either adapt to them or you don't.

[ rin just snorts. ]

You gonna elaborate, or is "things" all I'm gonna get from you?

[ because, dude, c'mon. communicate. ]

[but communication is hard.] The housing unit caved in. [he looks up in thought. oh-] Got to see a boy about my age blow up on camera. It flooded a little before the housing units caved in.

[ jesus fucking christ. rin gives sousuke another once-over, as if to make sure that he didn't miss anything the first time. ]

And Gou? Haru? The others?

Gou got a couple of scrapes when the housing unit fell, but she's okay now. We were in the same room when it fell. [he resists the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of haru.] I wouldn't know. I don't keep tabs on him.

[ so, just haven's usual. the mental shit he couldn't help with - he'd probably added to, in sousuke's case - but at least he was around to protect his friends and sister if it came down to that again.

sousuke still looks unhappy. ]

What's with the face?

[he looks to the side. ah yes. because now is a perfect time to bring up the fact that he doesn't...really like your friend!!! yeahhh boy] It's nothing.

Sousuke.

[ haven't you learned that keeping things from your bro only makes him cry harder in the end?!?!? ]

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