gaysharks | but you force yourself to choose.

but you force yourself to choose.

[it was a pretty normal day for sousuke. well, as normal as it could get in a hellhole like haven. anyway- it was the pretty standard bump and grind for him. wake up, go out and scavenge for food, and survive. some of that was hard to do with the difficult curve balls haven would throw out at them all, but, you had to adapt to them in order to survive. and that's what sousuke was good at. adapting. especially since his arm wasn't that much of an issue with him anymore.

he woke up today as he normally would have any other day. as slowly as possible. the annoying alarm clock would beep at him annoyingly in an attempt to wake him up for the new day. nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he rolled out of bed. or, at least that's what he thought. he got out of bed, stood up, and stretched slowly.

as he did this he notices that the top bunk is actually occupied by someone (you bet your ass he took the bottom bunk after rin left.) else. and upon further notice he realizes that the person has the exact same hair color as his best friend....

hm....]

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Yeah, sorry the cat's out of the bag. I've tuned you out all season. [too busy staring at that butt, ok.] I've been okay. Things happened and you either adapt to them or you don't.

[ rin just snorts. ]

You gonna elaborate, or is "things" all I'm gonna get from you?

[ because, dude, c'mon. communicate. ]

[but communication is hard.] The housing unit caved in. [he looks up in thought. oh-] Got to see a boy about my age blow up on camera. It flooded a little before the housing units caved in.

[ jesus fucking christ. rin gives sousuke another once-over, as if to make sure that he didn't miss anything the first time. ]

And Gou? Haru? The others?

Gou got a couple of scrapes when the housing unit fell, but she's okay now. We were in the same room when it fell. [he resists the urge to roll his eyes at the mention of haru.] I wouldn't know. I don't keep tabs on him.

[ so, just haven's usual. the mental shit he couldn't help with - he'd probably added to, in sousuke's case - but at least he was around to protect his friends and sister if it came down to that again.

sousuke still looks unhappy. ]

What's with the face?

[he looks to the side. ah yes. because now is a perfect time to bring up the fact that he doesn't...really like your friend!!! yeahhh boy] It's nothing.

Sousuke.

[ haven't you learned that keeping things from your bro only makes him cry harder in the end?!?!? ]

[wtf how is him keeping his inner hate down for haru going to make rin cry even more.] What?

[ can't we all sing kumbaya and eat protein bars around a campfire ]

The face.

[ because he thinks you're hiding something important from him. see what happens when you hide a shoulder injury? your bro never trusts you again. ]

[because haru sucks.]

It's really stupid, but it's nothing dire or important, Rin.

Nah. Tell me anyway.

[ because for sousuke to actually externalize his reaction... it's gotta be something that genuinely bothers him. ]

[he sighs.] Alright, but don't say I didn't warn you.

I'm not a big fan of you and Haru's friendship.

What?

[ rin's not completely blind, though he'd always brushed off the odd tension between sousuke and haru as a triviality. ]

Why?

His swimming wasn't anything on our level. And I didn't want you to chase after something that would end badly for you. [in regards to how haru viewed swimming. he didn't like races. he just swam to swim.] For the longest of times I didn't like the push and pull your friendship had, but I tolerate and respect it now. You preform better when you're racing against Nanase.

[and it may be frustrating to him that his racing never impacted you like his did.]

It's unlike you to feel so strongly about anybody.

[ other than... rin himself, which he hadn't considered until now. he rubs at the back of his neck, feeling uncomfortable for no real reason at all. sousuke -- he spent so much time thinking about rin, and rin hadn't noticed a career-ending injury for nearly a year. ]

[in which this actually becomes super relevant.... anyway, he shrugs indifferently.] You're my friend and I've known about your dream since we were little. I know you have the ability to make it, and I know how frustrating it would be for you if you didn't. I didn't want you to waste your energy and effort chasing after someone who had no clue what they wanted to do with their life.

[ don't make me cry. ]

Thanks for looking out for me.

[ but it's still not enough to say just that, so rin - still wearing that discomfited expression - continues. ]

But Haru's the reason that I'm swimming again. Yeah, it took him some time to figure himself out -- but he was always going to go pro in the end. You said it. He makes me better.

[no you have to join me in this hell.]

If I don't then who will? [it takes a lot of energy/effort to look out for you you big balooga. anyway- he looks off to the side and grits his teeth a little.] I know.

[oops that came out a little to forceful... let's try that again. he sighs once more and looks off to the side.] I know. I don't like him, but I respect what he's able to do for you. [what he can't do.] Look, Rin, I'll never have that kind of.... friendship you have with him, if I'm being completely honest here I don't want it. In fact I'm perfectly fine with keeping thing the way they are right now.

[ ushering in the new year with crushing sourin feelings, great.

rin may not be able to read sousuke as well as vice versa, but that doesn't mean he can't see that this honestly bothers sousuke, no matter how mature he's being about this.

he hangs his head, feeling overwhelmed and not knowing how to express himself. not understanding why sousuke's making a big deal out of comparing their friendship with that rin shares with haru. ]

The hell is that supposed to mean. What kind of friendship do you think I have with him?

[he frowns.] Do I really have to spell it out for you?

[ he's frowning right back, completely at a loss. ]

I don't know, do you have to be cryptic as shit?

[but being a cryptic little shit makes his heart go round and round.] It means that I don't like Nanase because he's been able to do everything for you that I have and never will.

[you can't exactly push someone on in their career if you're no longer in it. sure you can push from the sidelines, but...]

[ and that has rin's expression twisting, anger at the forefront -- because that's how rin explodes. outwards, as loudly as possible. ]

Are you joking?

[ he steps forward, shoulders squared. into sousuke's space, as if he's ready for a fight. ]

You and Haru -- you're completely different, yeah. I wouldn't be swimming if it wasn't for Haru. He's a monster in the pool. But you -- Sousuke, we were friends even before you swam. It's not the same, of course it's not, but it's just as important. You're just as important to me.

[ and rin's not going to elaborate past that, because... well. ]

You get that, right?

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